cruft for the world.

July 31, 2005

Superflat Single #3 / tachikoma

The following track is free. Grab it asap.

It adheres to superflat dogma by working especially well when generating the impulses for a generic mp3 playback screensaver. Headphones are indicated.

Another thing that can be said about this track is that it is psychedelic in structure. It's a symbolist moon guitar solo.

July 29, 2005

Show Tomorrow / Today

Unexpectedly, there will be a blipsandifs-related show on Saturday, July 30, featuring impromptu djing from Tachikoma and mathematical rock from The Impossible Machine. It's at Club Adonai, in Vancouver, once known as the Columbia.

If you are in the immediate vincinity, come on out to Club Adonai in the evening for a set list generated according to aleatory processes.

July 26, 2005

Top ten awesome things Portland Organ emailed to me.

10. As you have heard, I passed away in my recording studio today. You may hear reports that I died of a heart attack, or drug related problems but I assure you that this is just the media jumping to conclusions, and that was not the case. The truth is i died of something much more serious,...
....a broken heart.
Now I know what your thinking,...."But Dirty, what woman could hurt you?" ....A woman didnt hurt me, y'all did. You aint phoned me in years, you never e-mail....whens the last time you even free styled a lil' sum-sum for your boy? I may be a big hip-hop'n superstar, that lives large, in large cars, but I still feel....I still hurt.
And now its over. I only wish that we all had one more day. See you on tha crossroads.
-Old Dirty Bastard (ODB)
PS-Pour one down, for your homie in tha ground. Fa' Real.

9. I am gay.

8. I have a feeling I may have e-mailed you this morning. I was blind. With drunk. Drunk.
When you arrive, I will hold you.
Hey, you should DJ the show on the 21st of Dec.

7. Its a xmas show at the pic.
the show will include:
bel riose
mohawk lodge
timber (from montreal)
and you.
We made it so that the bands would play for free in return for no cover at the door.
also, all the bands will be playing Radio Thunderbird Hell on the 16th of December, as one big band. Its gonna be stupid.
what do you want to be called for the show?.....or did you want to actually play as Tachikoma Kun?.....because thats cool too if you would rather do that.

6. Hey all,
I gots me a cell phone.....still have the home phone as well.
so to re-cap:
New Phone # - 604 555 5555
home -604 555 5555
Im glad I got that off my chest.
...and I would also like to give a big shout out to my boy Jesus on his birthday.

5. Props go to Kemal's "the Table", & Twinn's "the Complex". ---Ratings gold!

4. Hey everybody,
I thought that if it was cool with everybody, I would bring my perfect boner to GHDX. I just wanted to pass the idea along in case someone else was planning on bringing theirs. If so, could you let us know, so that we can emotionally, and physically prepare for the occasion by properly dressing up our perfect boners, and stocking up on lube.
Thanks again,

3. I'm gonna make you sweat.
- Cuba Gooding Jr.

2. Today is a special day!!!! Carrot Top turrns 40!!! Tonight we celebrate!!! with Knives!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. You will be the drunk face that will fly in the future to the land of Yellow Junko Tsunami pussy efforts. I will care for you like a baby in my arms. It will be magnificiant.
Albert Brooks

July 24, 2005

BBQ - tron style.

My problem is, I can see through time too easily. Give me a thumb piano, and I'm gone.

However, for me, the best part of the barbeque was not the lanterns, but rather the fact that my burgers were cooked by the inevitable entropy of the universe. True story.

July 23, 2005

Superflat Single #2 / 710W3

Our second release in the superflat series is "sound tracktor" by 710W3. That's the leet pseudonym of one of Vancouver's hardest-working musicians. I've seen his self-programmed synth patches, and they've all got leet names. Every single one of them. True story.

"sound tracktor" can be considered an advance promo sample of 710W3's latest music: he's currently putting together a longer release for blipsandifs. And although this particular track leans towards the electronic end of the spectrum, 710W3 is known for his unexpected jumps between liquid analog patterns and crunchy acoustic granola-rock. Be prepared.

July 22, 2005

Fictional Interviews III / tachikoma

Tachikoma's huge SUV strolls nonchalantly down the wide road at noon in the blazing heat. Three wheels high in the air, the right back one down low to the ground as the bass speakers blast the zion pulse of dub through the Vancouver air.

Tachikoma isn't driving. However, he is wearing a crown of laurel leaves and painting his nails with a glossy enamel. Beside him are two enormous, antiquated japanese synthesizers with wooden panels and black metal casings. He is smoking what looks like a cheap Pom Pom cigar.

BAI: This reminds me of A.J.'s barge.
T: No argument here.
BAI: Did you pay for all this with royalties?
T: Naturally. Of course, not just from blipsandifs, but from the other record company that released my disc.
BAI: In England.
T: That's the one.

A breeze picks up as Tachikoma cleans a small glass pipe in pure alcohol.

BAI: How would you like to promote your albums? I mean, if you had a lot more money.
T: TV ads. Like K-Tel.
BAI: Aren't you the one pressuring the label to set up a Paypal account?
T: Of course. We should be selling heroclix figures of Moil and Golden Calf. That would bring in mad crazy money.
BAI: But there's the security issue. Encryption and so forth.
T: Hey. I just worship technology. I don't design it.
BAI: I'm sure I'm sorry.
T: You should be.

Tachikoma's cell phone rings. He shouts for a few moments over the noise of the stereo, then hangs up.

T: Sorry.
BAI: So I heard you signed on to fill the blanks in blipsandifs' content-hole.
T: Indeed. And I have a bunch of filmscores to pull off for jason in the next few weeks too...
BAI: That's quite a schedule.
T: Frankly, I'm worried. I haven't made a lot of tracks recently.
BAI: Are you gonna be dropping some generative shit?
T: Nord Micro Modular?
BAI: That's the one.
T: I used up most of my classic patches on previous soundtracks. I think I'll still be working in Reason and Live.
BAI: How about "Machine Robo Hono" ?
T: How do you know about that?
BAI: Communications technology.
T: I see. Yeah. There are various giant robot anime themes I plan to be sampling. No one gets that. I've been sampling anime for years. Even my dron/remix project has samples from anime in it. Oh well. "Chacun a son gout."
BAI: "Everything rare for the rare."
T: "We are all guilty of everything."

Our literary oneupmanship had reached a high point and a simultaneous low point. A bad sign.

Tachikoma sighed, exhaled grey smoke, and gazed up at the sky. Although it was sunny, a light snow was falling.

The SUV rolled leisurely on in the dying evening.

July 20, 2005

Fictional Interviews II / portland organ

"It's mine. I own it," he explains, gesturing towards the organ.

It leans passively against the wall, and when it's turned on, it makes a sound that makes it clear that the portland organ is stressed out. The portland organ has seen better days: that much is obvious.

When he gets drunk and plays the organ, he comes up with these amazing little sermons on life and responsibilities and organ playing technique. His lyrics are like, "I'm a canoe," and shit.

We lined up this interview w/ the Portland organ without his knowledge by leaving mics running in the room. Sucker.

BAI: Portland.
PO: Sir.
BAI: Another round.
PO: Indubitably.

Another round of the finest English porter was brought. We then debated the quality of, and marketing schemes behind, various tobacco cigarettoes.

BAI: Your woman ain't working in the sewing factory I see.
PO: Ayup. She is out with her friends.
BAI: At Jupiter.
PO: Maybe. Why, you wanna go there?
BAI: Lotta hot chicks there.

A helicopter passed by the window outside.

BAI: The helicopter is my spirit animal, you know.
PO: Yes, I've heard that.
BAI: So why don't you record some tracks for us.
PO: Well... recording music is so 1999.
BAI: Touche.
PO: But I suppose one should.
BAI: Maybe you could record the Portland organ in the woods, like 42.
PO: Yeah. Budget please.
BAI: Can't help you.
PO: Well, Tascam it is then.
BAI: You still have a four-track that works? Record on that.
PO: (drinks) It doesn't work.

I couldn't get the conversation back on the topic of the portland organ. Eventually he got up to mix rye and coke and I sat on the organ's bench. It blended seamlessly back into the furniture and then completely disappeared.

July 19, 2005

Fictional Interviews I / the drunken boats

The glow from the monitor illuminates their faces as one curses under his breath and attempts to scan the image again. It's 9pm. I'm drunk. The drunken boats are sober, and they're trying to put the cover together.

It's artier than it looks. Serious art was considered and weighed before arting began. There was an artish aroma in the air of the room too... an airconditioned air... you can smell the paintbrushes... and the murky water... and the freshly printed catalogues... jona's coffee... cigarettes... glossy commercial images for retail purposes... it's pretty like that, in the college where they go to school and study. I'm sure we shouldn't be here at this hour of the night but that interests me very little.

It may be the magic hour outside but inside the monitors provide the only light. The drunken boats hover over the scanner and speak to each other in hushed voices.

BAI: Hey guys. So are you surprised this release is finally seeing the light?
TDB1: Not particularly.
TDB2: We've been talking about releasing this for so long.
BAI: Well, I have reasons to be worried about what we release. After all, I tried to sign that one band, and they were all like, you copied my music, you stole it, and I just wanted to show my appreciation for their music.
TDB2: Yeah but that's in the past now.
BAI: True. So tell me about your future plans for recording.
TDB2: If only we had a reliable computer....
TDB1: Precisely. We have a new soundcard...
TDB2: But the computer we have at home needs to be repaired.
BAI: Post-haste. You have a receipt right?
TDB2: Yes but it's not just a matter of having a receipt. You have to have the time and transportation to take your whole studio back to the store....
TDB1: We've done it too many times.
BAI: Maybe your computer music has sado-masochistic undertones.
TDB1: (laughs) You mean, harmonics.
TDB2: Really? Who's torturing who?
TDB1: Maybe we're taking turns.
BAI: I heard you say before that you want to record w/ acoustic instruments.
TDB1: We'd love to... to record overdubs w/ drum kit and guitar, you know, jamming over pre-programmed shit.
TDB2: Of course the technical side still needs preparation.
TDB1: But perhaps we'll just be working with the computer alone...
BAI: Can't wait to graduate from school and take that computer home, eh?
TDB2: Exactly.
TDB1: (prints a page from the computer, examines it) I think the cover is ready now.

After the fonts are tested, the cover's ready to post. We place an email to alert another Blipsandifs member about posting the file.

We're about to go live. Five minutes to air. Drunken boats about to weigh anchor....

July 17, 2005

Superflat Single #1 / the drunken boats

The long awaited primary mp3 is here for your downloading pleasure. The artists responsible for this track are known as the drunken boats. The vancouver-based computer unit processed an unreleased recording of an old project, namely second narrows. This fragment of post-math can be heard right at the beginning of this track, before the drunken boats proceed to navigate through its architecture with a fine-toothed loop, extracting and isolating viral melodies and latent chord progressions. What they came up with, they labeled "secondteennarrows."

We're proud to have "secondteennarrows" as our first release. Around a week from now, blipsandifs will be uploading the second mp3 in this series and an accompanying cover. So after a week of broadcasting, this data will no longer be available for download. Proceed quickly to download this mp3 and its cover, above, to the same folder on your hard drive.

July 10, 2005

Singles Going Steady.

The art factory is now operating at forty per cent capacity and cranking out the high quality art for all you downloaders out there. There's still a lot that has to be done before we get the first superflat single up and playing on the website though. Mastering, graphic design, etc, etc. It's a process.

So bear with us please while we get the art factory all greased up and oiled to perfection. Then there'll be a steady stream of content for your content-hole.

July 5, 2005

Superflat Singles.

The first releases from this here bloglabel will be mp3's, which should be available for download soon. Of course, they won't be available in a 3D format yet: they're still superflat. They'll feature a variety of artists and musical genres, and each mp3 will be accompanied by a "cover" - a blogged photo which you can download to the same folder as the mp3. That'll make keeping your collection in order easier.

Because we're all about being collectible.

July 1, 2005


Worship this man!

File under 'Superflat.'

I claim this aesthetic movement as a category for this bloglabel. Superflat is a Japanese art form which captures the essence of exactly what is so fascinating about manga and anime. It has to be seen to be understood.

But what's so flat about it? The guy who came up with the term sees a certain undeniable 'two-dimensional' aesthetic in traditional Japanese paintings, Utamaro prints, etc. This he sees reflected in manga pages - you know, like in that episode of FLCL.

And this narrowcasting blog is flat, too, as it arrives in your home. It can't be bent or manhandled like an old copy of "Les Chants de Maldoror." It will never have the corporeality of a large, ethically monolithic building full of gold records. Turn sideways and you won't even see it.

Portable blog.

No, I didn't buy a blackberry. But I did jury-rig a scheme for broadcasting (or narrowcasting) blogs from distant locations. This blog is currently located 40,000 kilometers above your head in a geosynchronous orbit.

The picture of my glasses was taken on location in the library, which is a natural habitat for glasses.